I have no courage...

Good morning all-

If you have been reading this blog lately, courage has come up.  I think my heart is seeking it.  You know when you feel like everything is against you, life is changing and you can't stop it and the enemy is on every side, that's truly when we seek courage, right?  This last few months has been a dance between fear and courage and I know that courage has won the fight.  How you might ask?  Because Jesus and I have come to a place of understanding, I have zero courage and He will provide it 100%!

Courage is something I have rarely had in my life.  I have been propeled more by fear than courage.  How did I get through the first years of marriage? Fear of divorce.  How did I get through college?  Fear of failure.  How did I succeed in my career?  Fear of being poor.  There has always been a great amount of fear in my life.  I know what you're thinking, fear is not of our Lord.  I know that and still I have struggled with fear all my life.  Even my fear of God has helped me move through life.  I know fear far better than peace.  Even this blog came out of fear.  I knew I was supposed to write but I was afraid that people would criticize me, tell me I had no talent, or worse, no one would read it.  I still did it but it was in fear, not in confidence or courage.

As I have repented of this fear, I have watched Jesus wipe it away.  I have to go to Him daily with it but peace has been restored in my heart, time and time again.  You know what else He has provided?  Courage.  I am full of it. Not for me but for Him.  He has a plan for my life and if I don't step out on faith; He can't use me.  What a shame and a waste that would be?  I am here for a reason and if I spend all my time in fear then I have wasted an opportunity for His kingdom.  Writing is not easy because every word I write exposes me to many people.  I have made this blog public by placing it on Facebook and Twitter.  Anyone can get on it and see my words, my grammar and my heart.  Why this venue?  Because I was called and in one moment, I found courage through my Savior to write and to believe that He would use it for His glory.

People believe they have courage on their own but that's a lie.  True courage comes from seeking and knowing our Lord.  David would have been a coward without God.  He struggled many times as he sat in the cave grumbling and scared.  However, deep down as he would speak to the Lord, he would go from frightened to a man of courage.  Your probably wondering how that was accomplished.  Only through meditation, prayer and repentence can we find Godly courage.  It doesn't come from inside us.  That's fake and won't last long.  True courage comes from trusting in Jesus, giving Him our hearts and seeking Him daily.  When I even miss a day of doing that, my courage goes from high to low.  We are like cars needing gasoline.  If we drive with confidence but never fill up, we will eventually run out of gas.  When that happens, we are calling someone frantically to help us, right?  Exactly my point, we can run but we can't hide from the God who knew us in the womb.  There's a reason we are in a relationship and not robots to our God.

I'm glad I can say; I have no courage.  Because in truth, my courage becomes stronger when I know it takes my Savior to provide it.  I don't need to worry about pumping myself up.  I just need to get on my knees, read my Bible and ask the Lord to give me courage, release me from my fear and propel me towards Him.  See I can fake courage but I would rather have it.  Wouldn't you?

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭14‬:‭27‬ NIV)


My prayer today:

O, Lord, as I read of the Syrian fighters and of all the Christians that are fighting for their lives, it brings me back to courage.  You must provide their courage to stay strong in the midst of evil.  Women all over the world are being caught in horrible situations, their men are dying and possessions are lost.  I'm sure in every country there are people fighting to have courage on their own but they will fail without You.  Please bring people forth that can encourage them and help them see that when they say, "I have no courage," that's the first step in receiving it.  You are the only God that can provide peace, confidence and courage.  Because You died on the cross, You gave us all the confidence and courage that You are a God that leads His people.  Circumstances will happen that are not good but our faith stands on  asking You for courage and receiving it.  In Jesus Name, AMEN