40 Days in the Wilderness...

Good morning all-

Have you ever felt like you are wandering around and have no direction?  The Israelites wandered and wandered because they couldn't unite and trust in God.  The men and women that were part of Exodus and experienced God's power didn't even get to walk into the promise land.  It was their children.  And what about our beloved disciples?  Judas never truly got to experience all of Jesus' teachings because he was greedy. And many of His disciples wandered for days after He died. I'm even sure that they had moments after He was resurrected because of their doubt and their fear.

We all will experience times in our lives when we feel far away from God.  I think that's part of the refining and stretching He does with us.  We must walk when we can't see and that's so hard.  If you were born blind then you had to walk that way, you have no choice.  But if you were born with sight and then turn blind, can you imagine the first time stepping on the ground? Life is full of curve balls and it doesn't take us long to go with the curve.  It's so easy to go down that path, that often it scares me to think I'm that weak minded and yet, we all are.  While Moses was on the mountain being instructed by God, the people started building idols to worship.  Really!  Did they not see God's divine miracle when He parted the Red Sea?  Or what about when they were not prepared to face fierce enemies, did God leave them, no, He fed them from the sky and provided water in the desert.  If they could turn on God so quickly, then so can we.

Jesus spent time away to rejuvenate from everyone.  Can you even imagine what it was like to walk in His shoes?  He was being tempted on every side in a more powerful way then you and I ever will be. I imagine there were times of great struggle and feeling alone during those 40 days and nights and yet He survived, came back and was stronger for it.  I think I 've been thinking about His journey more and more because I just completed my first forty days in the Bible.  Now that doesn't mean I haven't spent that time before but it was never tracked like this.  It makes me think more about the men and women that have gone before me.  It makes Scripture more alive and it makes the journey I have been on the last seven years more real.  I have often felt alone, wondering about my path and seeking God with not a whole lot of answers.  I started this blog because I watched a show.  I began to pray for women and the title came to me.  I sat moving through my circumstances believing God would part the sea and as I did that I knew He was near.  Did I want to run away?  Many times.  My fear of the unknown and the sadness I often felt, while the whole time putting on a smile, made me doubt that I could ever be a person to spread His word.  And yet, I have been, faithfully to anyone that comes to this blog.  I made a promise and I had no idea what that would mean at the time.  I told my brothers that I would never be silent about my faith again.

As I sat near my dad's hospital bed wondering why I never had the courage to truly preach the word to Him, I was overwhelmed with a sense of doom and gloom.  When all of the sudden, I realized that God was a God larger than me.  In Scripture, He had come to many men in dreams.  As a matter of fact, He still is.  So why couldn't I pray about that?  So I did.  And what I saw was a miracle.  I will never know until I hit heaven's gates if dad truly accepted but I feel in my heart he did.  Sometimes when we can't see, Jesus is looking for us.  That's what makes me keep believing, praying and seeking Him.  There have been many times I felt like I was wandering in the desert.  There have been many more times I thought I couldn't see anything through the trees.  And just as I'm going to give up, Christ reminds me that His journey was difficult, He was stretched and He felt alone many times. He never gave up though and I can't either.

If you feel as though you have wandered for so long it hurts, I want to encourage you to go to Him.  He is near.  Your fate seems bleak, your health is failing, your heart is broken and you just can't see through the mighty forest or the barren desert, HE KNOWS!  Quit fearing, walk blindly towards the light and ask Him to be your eyes and feet.  He knows because while He was being tempted all those dark places were before Him.  There is nothing He did not face in those hours in the wilderness that were too great for Him.  He is your anchor and you must never forget it.  Every provision was given to the Israelites as they walked around and around.  He provided their every need and they couldn't see anything He was doing.  And at the hour on the cross, when all was going dark, Jesus asked His Father to forgive our sins.  Seriously!  Yes my sisters, He felt abandoned by His Father, divided for the first time. Can you imagine the helplessness?  But Jesus didn't give up, He asked for our forgiveness and we must trust in that always.

I know its easier said then done but it's our time to show the world that when we were in the darkest part of our journey, we moved forward with no sight except that He loved us and saved us in our greatest hour of need!

At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” At once the Spirit sent him out into the wilderness, and he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him. (‭Mark‬ ‭1‬:‭9-13‬ NIV)