October 14, 2013

Good morning all-

I thought I would start off by saying how grateful I am to be writing again.  My thoughts have been coming in and out and then back again.  I found myself walking for two hours, contemplating life and asking why?  Why me, why now and what do I have to offer anyway?  That's when a red squirrel ran across the street, went half way up a tree, to come back down and run again. 

I thought it would stop with the squirrel but then a huge grasshopper jumped toward the weeds, a butterfly flew by and a red tailed hawk flew low waiting to get his next meal.  All of this added up to one thing for me, Jesus.  How do you walk when you want to run?  What if you run and no one cares?  Finally, does anyone care?  Jesus always cares and He just wouldn't let me forget that.

If God created the world and all the little creatures, isn't He able to change a heart, a man or me?  Of course He can.  I know that and believe it but every once in a while I falter and fall down.  God commands me to love, not myself but others.  He asks me to stand when all I want to do is fall down.  He gave me His word to help me walk when I want to run and He loves me through all my baggage.  Wow!  All that in a span of an hour.  Can I learn fast?  Not really.  He continues to refine my thoughts and my actions because at the end of the day, I'm hard headed so normally, I have to hit the wall at least five times before it gets into my thick skull.  Know anyone like that?

Well, I'm determined to learn this lesson and to be more patient with God than myself.  I realize that I am human and that when things get tough, running seems a good idea.  I can't run away from life, no matter how I try and then again, why would I?  This is His life, His glory and I'm just a vessel.  If my vessel must be refined through the fire then so be it because at the end of this life, I want to be in His arms, praising Him and thanking Him for what He did in my life.

I wish I could say that every day is easy for me and that my garden is always flourishing. To be truthful I don't think I would even want to live like that.  Although the fire is hot sometimes and I often feel uncomfortable, just knowing He is with me is enough.  Just like the fires that take acres away, the soil gets replenished and eventually new growth begins and grows in abundance, that's my life.  It's not always easy and the path isn't always clear but I know that with each fire I am growing and becoming more like Him.  So, even when I don't think it's worth it, it really is.

I hope today finds you well my sisters and I pray that God is revealing Himself to you in someway that matters to you.  His creation always says a lot to me and therefore, I am abiding in Him, trusting that He can make my life glorify Him and with every step I take, I'm walking more in Him than me.  Please pray for the nations and especially the US.  We are in great need of a Savior right now so please pray that the leaders would see Christ and shed the selfishness of this life for eternal grace.

Be well and thank you for your prayers.  They're working because I'm writing again.

Romans 8:28 NIV

     And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I'll leave the prayer to you!