God is waiting...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

One of my greatest joys is reading the Bible and all the Bible plans they have on the Bible app. It's a joy to be immersed into a five day journey with so many talented and gifted writers and followers of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Today, I spent time and read and found myself wondering when I quit imagining, when I stopped believing in miracles and in things unexplained. I used to have the greatest imagination. I wanted to be a detective, a forensic scientist, and a writer. I had dreams of being a princess, an executive, a mother and a lover. I believed that I could do anything. That is until life happened.

Life gets hard and you begin to get jaded. Over time, I became very jaded. Life was hard. Failing, struggling and not being very good at math dashed many of my dreams. Having a family and going to work, didn't leave a lot of time to dream of being a princess, especially when I was working, caring for kids, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, cooking and doing laundry. The joy of imagining just swept away with responsibility and reality.

I quit believing that God could whisper into my heart. I didn't feel the Holy Spirit rolling so I entrenched myself in reality. Life was going to be hard. I believed that God loved me and that He was with me but all the things I once dreamed of were gone and so was my purpose. That is until recently. I had experienced a moment where I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit. It happened in a time where my purpose was being rocked. I was listening to podcasts just to get through the day. I had to read the word, hear the word and immerse myself in everything Holy because I could barely get out of bed. It was a dangerously low time in my life and then I began to hear words. Biblical words which would ultimately save me and pull me out of my pit of despair. It was as if my purpose came to the forefront and I knew what was next.  That is, before the fear and all the stresses of life.

I am an ever changing creature. One day, I'm feeling creative and the next I'm under a pile of minutia and that beautiful creative creature is far beneath the sea. As I've said, I'm a realist. However, I'm starting to wonder if I let that all go, what could God do with me and through me? The Bible talks about people like me, on shifting sand. One minute I believe I will be on stage talking about Jesus and the next day, I can't even write one page. How am I supposed to spread the Word of God if I am sinking like sand?

Which leads me to this morning where I was reading from Rick Warren's study on Imagination and in my heart I heard, "you have purpose, just start."  And I realized that God continues to have patience and He is waiting for me to imagine what it will be like to spread His words to the nations. He is so patient. He waits for His sheep to come to Him. We are like the puppy that chases his tail and then when you call, looks up and comes running. God is whispering to all of us. In His word, He has called us to be courageous, to believe that He will rescue us in the flames and that like those that have gone before us, we must forge on and help the lost find Him.  I might be like sand. I might lose my imagination and forget the power behind me but God never forgets. He made us for this time. He made YOU for this time. We are very lucky, our God is waiting for us to pick up our pen, our phones, our Bibles and forge ahead, into the wilderness to find the lost and make HIM KNOWN.

He's waiting, are you ready to MOVE? It just takes one step at a time. How do I know that? Because that's what I'm doing. I'm drawing close to God and walking in faith. I'm opening my mind to imagine the purpose He has for me. I'm stepping not striding and every day I'm giving Him my heart and asking Him to educate me and immerse me into His purpose, not mine.

Hebrews 11:31-35 NIV

By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.11:31 Or unbelieving

32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection.

Lord, thank you for being patient with your sheep.  Help all of us to find You today and to immerse ourselves in your word. You never change! We love you and thank you that You are always faithful.

Mine or His...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

This morning I'm sitting outside a Holiday Inn in the beautiful state of Virginia listening to the birds and watching an ant as it walks all over my book by Sharon Jaynes, "enough."  I love to spend time with God every morning but the last couple of days have been especially wonderful. I've been surrounded by nature, great temperatures and beautiful trees. It has reminded me of times on the lake with my mom and dad, which is especially endearing on Father's Day.

This week has been important for another reason, I've come to a place where it must be His over mine. Are you confused? I am a bit too. I promised myself I would take 30 days to stand still and really try to listen to what God wants in my life and as always I've been answered.

Entitlement is not just about one generation, it's really about individuals. I can say that often I've felt entitled. I've worked hard all my life and worked to make companies grow and because of my ability I felt like I should be in a different place in my life today. And yet, I am not. I think that has been swirling around in my mind and heart for the last three years. Which is why I've been seeking the mighty revelation of our savior and I've come to a realization, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

How many times must we read the parables in order to come to a profound revelation? For me, probably one hundred times and during this week as I read it one more time, God revealed that it is His way not mine.

One of my character flaws is that I am stubborn and it's also one of my biggest strengths. I believe strongly, I live stubbornly and I love fiercely. In contrast, I die to myself slowly. God knows this so He waited and I've finally heard.

My goal this year was to be back in the saddle in sales, fulfilling my destiny and being great once again. That was my plan and with it was a bit of entitlement.   Seventeen days into my journey of gratitude and rest, I've come to the conclusion that I must and will surrender to the calling I have been given --which starts with spreading His word through WORDS.

If you've been feeling lost and maybe a little angry at the events in your life, take time to thank God for the lessons you have learned.  Gratitude is what gives us the ability to see His will over ours. As we thank Him for the small things, surrender the desires of our heart and embrace the brokenness of lost things, paths and people, God creates in us a new heart.

I don't want to be at His feet with my life flashing by me to see that I didn't plant the seed and use the tools He provided. I want to walk over to Him, fall to my knees and say I ran the race just as you asked me to. Moses didn't take up his staff until he was in his 70's, David began fulfilling his shoes in his teens and Jesus sacrificed His life for us in His 30's. It doesn't matter how old or young you are, you have gifts and so do I and we need to shed the fear and walk into the fire. At least this fire will bear fruit and not destroy.

Wishing you a great day as you walk through the fire.

Lord, we have but this one life and many of us are running around with our heads cut off. We are Yours and we desire to be Your warrior soldiers. Protect us and keep us safe as we walk into the unknown. We need You and every gift You have foretold to become women that walk with You and spread the gospel. We were breathed into life for this time. Take our hands and lead us to our paths. May we bring glory and honor to YOU every single day of our lives.  In Jesus Name, AMEN!

Matthew 25:11-13 NIV

"Later the others also came. 'Lord, Lord,' they said, 'open the door for us!' "But he replied, 'Truly I tell you, I don't know you.' "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Provision and Freedom...

Good morning my sister warriors-

This week has been an adventure. I'm in the beautiful state of Virginia at the Shell Super Rigs event and like all my adventures I've met wonderful people.  God reminded me this week that we often forget those that sacrifice for our well being.

Travel is never easy.  You have to  leave your family and there are always delays. This week really wasn't different except for my joyful attitude. Years ago the trials of Wednesday would have impacted my attitude in a very negative manner. Now, after years of travel, I find joy in the derailment.

The first person I met was a sales representative that was wondering if she should jump or stay at her current company. After talking, she said, "You have a lot of experience and should write a book." I told her that might be down the road but I have to finish the one I keep promising God first.

The second gentleman was a former soldier and does private stints in areas of the world that are dangerous. He was a believer and you could tell. He was strong in spirit and loved this country and the freedoms we have. I told him the story of the little blue soldier I retrieved on Memorial Day in Leavenworth, Kansas. On the box, it said take one of these soldiers and put it where you will remember the sacrifices these men and women make for our country, so I did. I have a good friend that is overseas and I pray for him whenever he pops into my mind. He loved the story but when I said I would pray for him to he said thank you, we all need the prayers.

That brings me to yesterday as I talked to truckers alone, away from their families and some with dogs as companions. They came in all shapes and sizes but they all had one thing in common, they were providing the goods we use every day.

We are very lucky in the US. We have men and women that drive trucks so we can have the comforts of life and there are those that leave their families to go to foreign, often dangerous places, so that we can have our freedoms. Not every country has what we have and it's so common here we forget the sacrifices of others for us.

I will not soon forget the faces I've seen as those mighty trucks came in and out of a very busy truck stop. I won't forget how one man told me he rescued a dog that rescued him. I won't forget that soldiers face or our conversation and I hope God reminds me to pray for all of them.

God has provided for all of us in the same way. He sacrificed something so dear so that we could have peace, joy, relationship and eternal life. Similar to the men and women that left there homes for their jobs, Jesus came to earth to provide a FREE way.

Take a moment to look around you and to pray for the semi that goes past you or a soldier, they need our prayers for they are doing God's work in providing for us.

As always my warrior sisters pray for those that need to know Jesus and if you are one of Him, He's ready to accept you to the family.  There's always room at God's table for one more, are you next?

Behind the mask

Good morning my sister warriors-

Today, I'm going to talk about a topic that is close to my heart, suicide. Unfortunately, this tremendously sad and lonely act has hit my family twice and when I was young almost got me too. This is very personal for many reasons but so important to discuss on a public forum.

This week two very successful, public figures died at their own hand. One strangled herself and the other was found in his hotel room in France. They both seemed to have it all.  Money, fame, and adoration surrounded their earthly lives but it wasn't enough. Lurking somewhere deep within them was failure, loss, loneliness and a lack of hope for tomorrow.  These are the symptoms of suicide and often they aren't seen.

Since the 90's childhood suicide is up 30%, 1% would be bad and yet, we are up 30% in the US. Our masks have gotten better, more beautiful and far less revealing than what's really happening inside our minds.

You might not know Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain. You might not have had suicide hit your family and you may never have experienced the thoughts that run through your mind. I pray you haven't. Statistics, however, are indicating that it's possibly 3 out of 10 people who are experiencing the thoughts that lead to this horrible act. Not only is it sudden, raw and devastating it leaves those that knew them, loved them and needed them;feeling guilty, lost, confused and defeated. The questions survivors ask themselves are: Why didn't I see the signs?, Why couldn't they have asked for help?, Wasn't I enough to keep them here?, Why didn't they want to stay?, Didn't they love me?, and the biggest one, WHY?

The children left behind will feel abandoned and like they weren't enough and the adults will rattle this around in their minds for the rest of their lives. Because we all feel like we can save people from the feelings and acts that are negative and destructive. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of power only Christ does.

Depression, addiction, loneliness and turmoil lead to this line of thinking. The more a person can hide behind the mask the deeper the devil has a chance to churn those dark thoughts. The Bible calls it the pit of despair and boy is it. If you live on this earth, there is a chance you have felt lost, lonely and depressed. Many factors go into the deceptor and his ways. It starts small, maybe it's striving to be a success or making more money.  It could be the failure of your marriage or a loss of a child. It might be the fact that you've looked for that partner forever and you're still alone or maybe you are a child that's being bullied, being abused, or worse has been raped. These are all areas where people can fall down.

People contemplating suicide can hide these inner thoughts well. They can put on a smile and play along with the world as if everything is alright. To the outside world they are normal. Inside their minds these negative thoughts are causing lost sleep, the need to medicate or to run so fast everyone thinks they are supermen and women. These masks are the disruptors finest art. The better the mask the more people begin to feel like life isn't worth living and no one needs them anyway and this is the biggest LIE. You were born for a God-given purpose and every human on this earth was placed by a loving God who is near.

The destroyer taints what God has created. He is like a lion waiting to destroy you with one swipe and if he can get you isolated in your mind and with your flesh, he will pursue you. That's why the Bible talks about the full armor of God. There is a reason we must become one with Jesus in Spirit and in truth. The Word and the Spirit are powerful and will fill you with light, sometimes it's just a glimmer but a glimmer of the Holy light is all we need to weather tremendous storms. It's when the light is lost that suicide happens and that's what we must be aware of and pray against.

I, once thought there was no hope. I felt abandoned, my mom and I weren't getting along, college wasn't going well and I had gone through a series of bad relationships. All I wanted was to be loved and there was no love, no great friends, really no one. I went to school and work with a mask on. People thought I was so happy, that is, most people. My boss was a Christian and for some reason he just knew I needed Jesus. I was working at a Walmart pharmacy and I was lucky enough to work for a man that lived what he believed. Somehow God gave him a glimpse of what was behind my mask and before I knew it, I was accepting an invitation to a revival.

I was proud that no one knew I hated myself, that I felt unworthy and unloved. I had everyone fooled except my Savior. He was watching over me, whispering to a man I worked for. Larry asked me to go and I did and it was at this meeting, I found Jesus. I wish I could say that I never put on another mask but I have. I know how to hide when needed. Like all of us, I have times I feel unworthy and not enough but they don't last long because Jesus is my reason to live and through His word I can fight off the destroyer and carry Him in my heart, spirit and flesh. We are conquerors when the light fills us in our darkest times.

I tell you my story so that you understand that normal, everyday people go through times where they get deep into the pit of despair and as much as I believe in counselling and talking to people, in order to fight a dark spiritual battle, you need more, you need Jesus. The Bible says, He is the light of the world. We need the light, our children need the light and we must seek His wisdom daily to gain that light.

The destroyer hates light. He loves images and masks. He is the great deceptor spinning his evil dark thoughts and if allowed he will destroy. DON'T LOSE HOPE. God is near, He has been since He created the moon and the stars. He made us in His own image. He is our lamp unto our feet. The war between dark and light will go on until Jesus comes once again. That is a fact. Another fact is we will suffer from depression, conflict, turmoil and tribulations but there is one that holds you close and that's Jesus. No one comes to the Father unless they confess Jesus Christ Lord and Savior. The first step in getting those suicidal thoughts out of your head is to be covered by the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

Jesus can unveil the mask, cast off the deception and bring light into your darkened mind and soul. He paid the price of ALL sin and He knows what you're facing. He spent 40 days and nights being tempted by the evil one. And through it all, He said man does not eat bread alone but every word of God. Why words? Because the Bible is the lamp unto our feet. It is the sword that allows us to conquer those dark thoughts and it's the truth. Those other thoughts, negative, penetrating dark thoughts are not of a loving maker, they are of a destroyer.

If you are in the midst of feeling like the world is against you, that you don't want to wake up another day on this earth, please walk into a church, find a pastor, talk to someone and ask about Jesus. If you are afraid to do that, then right where you are ask Jesus to show you the LIGHT. The Bible says, when we seek Him we will find Him. Get online and Google Bible, there are free resources like the Bible app. Jesus is at your fingertips. He will make Himself known I promise.

The event I describe here happened when I was 19 years old. I can tell you that if Larry hadn't been the man he was, I'm not sure I would be here today. The God of all understanding knew who needed to invite me, when to invite me and opened my heart to receive Him. Thirty-three years later I have fought many battles with the destroyer and it has taken the Word to be my sword and My Savior to fight the good fight. Due to my trials, I pray for people, I understand and have empathy for the lost and lonely and I know that with Jesus we can and will stand for our God-given purpose in this life with hope and the security of knowing that we have a God that loves us in all our mess.

I believe that suicide is a spiritual battle and we must fight it with the only thing we have, the Words of God. We must pray and condition our minds, hearts and spirits to hear from our Lord and Savior. We must pray over schools, mental health clinics, daycares and mansions. If you have believed that you aren't meant to live another day, please go to someone and tell them. There is nothing sexy about suicide, it devastates those left behind. Notes don't help. Only you will fill the need your family has for you to be here. And if you want someone anonymous reach out to me. I will pray for you and if you're willing I will lead you to Jesus for He is the great counselor. You are valued and needed, please just reach out.

I pray my story and these words bring you hope for the future. Hope resides in Jesus.

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 NIV

For God gave us a Spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

The God of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20 NIV

THERE IS HOPE THROUGH JESUS!

Moments...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

Well it's Memorial Day in the US and a time of reflection for the past.  I don't think we remember enough because if we did, humans wouldn't be where they are. Needless to say, I'm reflecting on all those that were lost from the beginning due to human selfishness and hate.

War is not something new. It's been around since the beginning of time. If the evil one can stir up hate in the heart, the human will go for it. This cycle causes wars and the only difference between one human or another is if God's with you or against you.

I think I'm reflecting on this so much because time is ticking away and moments are flying by.  I think after a certain age you really feel the time. You blink and you're in June and then you blink again and it's December. It's almost as if you can't hold onto it and I believe that's exactly what God intends in the last days. Pure surrender to time, life and our will.

He's not interested in our chosen purpose, career, need to be seen or cause. He's only interested in what He's placed in our hearts to do and each moment we are here on earth, He's preparing us for that purpose. In addition, he is refining us, walking with us and holding us in His perfect love.

Humans really don't understand the word LOVE unless you've read the Bible. To us, it's a romantic feeling but in God's realm it means so much more. The words patience, kindness and forgiveness are reflected in the Bible time and time again and if you ask the Lord He will show you this reflection in the word.

The world is counter cultural from how God intended us to live, work, procreate and worship. We were to live to glorify Him. We were to work unto Him. We were to procreate and fill the earth with children that would bring glory to the kingdom and as we put the kingdom first, we would worship His holy name.  Today our moments are filled with "I want,"  "I need," "I deserve," and "What's in it for me." Everywhere I look people are developing careers out of finding their happiness. Really, we've become that self-centered that we have coaches to help us find our happy place.

There's nothing wrong with being happy or finding delight in the birds, in adventures, in traveling but when everything comes down to freedom, possessions and I, we've done something very wrong. There are only so many moments we have to love our neighbor, forgive those that have done us wrong and promote kindness to our fellow man. The Lord has spoken and we must partake in the kingdom's glory over our own.

Tomorrow is not promised for that is also written in the word of God. So as we enjoy this wonderful day off, remember all those that fought for us, all those who sacrificed so we could worship in freedom, and our God who died for our sins. I am humbled by the descriptive words in the Bible and for the direction I must move in order to fulfill my purpose. Our God is a God that gives us moments to glorify Him, let's take some time today to reflect on the sacrifices humans have paid for us to have moments to worship Jesus.

Be well my sisters and know that God is with us so that we can make moments on earth that matter.

1 John 4:7 (ESV)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Why didn't Lot's wife let go?

Good morning my warrior sisters-

I hope you are waking up to the anticipation of God's love today. I sure did. Do you ever wonder why we give up his hope, his love, his mercy because we aren't going down the path we had planned for our lives?

We make plans, all of us do, and often we are let down when those plans don't come into fruition. Take for example a young woman anticipating this is going to be the time, only to see the pregnancy test has failed once again. It might be a woman in her 30's hoping to be married. All of her friends are married, why can't she be? Or maybe it was the job you had waited for all your life, that would provide security and longevity, only to watch it go down in flames.

Life has a way of taking us on a journey that doesn't match our plan. Some of it is impacted by the world and the evil that lurks here and some is us. If we want to be liked more than serving God, you might just find yourself in a situation where you aren't liked. It might be we've put money and things before God and He might decide to take them away. You might not be getting pregnant because he has a beautiful soul waiting for you to adopt or foster. We all have things in our life that we think about way too much and it's those things that often we need to surrender and let God lead us.

In the case of Lot, they had money, power, prestige and many friends. They were well known but Sodom had become a place that was so evil God needed to destroy it. All the worldly possessions and accolades distorted what was true and godly.  When God told Lot he must leave because he was going to destroy the city, they fled but someone couldn't surrender all that they had in that city. Lot's wife, who has no name, turns and in moments is gone. Why? Because God told her she must surrender to live but the pull for the treasures on earth were so strong, she turned.

I wish I could say I've never done that but that would be a lie. There are things in my life that I've coveted and I still struggle with certain aspects today. I still make plans and sometimes those plans come to fruition and sometimes they tank. Like many, I like to be liked. I want to be included and for people to respond to me. I want to be successful in what I do, to be a good mom and wife and to be a servant unto the Lord. I want to give back without getting and I want to be known.  All of these things are good as long as they don't become the ONLY direction of my heart.

In the last months, God has given me a glimpse into two important directions for my life. One is to be unseen and be right with that and the other is to let Him guide me with His rod and staff. To be His lamb and to surrender every desire at His feet. It has been powerful in my life. I am being taught new ways to think, how to control my desires and align them with His and more importantly, I've drawn closer to Him.

Like Lot's wife, I want to hold on but the most healing, hopeful thing we can do is let go and surrender to God.

If you're struggling today, know there is hope. Open your hands and say, Lord please help me to surrender_____________. He will! I promise.

Let's be like Jesus and surrender our will for His!

Luke 17:32 NIV

Remember Lot's wife!

Have a great day and always remember there is hope in Jesus.

The Bible says...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

We lost a great man of God recently.  Billy Graham walked on this earth for almost 100 years. He visited with the Queen of England and served many presidents. They sought him, not because of who he was, but of what he represented. He had a great calling and that was to spread the word throughout the lands and he did just that.

Fox released a short documentary on his life last month and I carefully took in traits that made this man persevere.  Here are just a few:

He was humble.
He surrendered all.
He said I will follow where you lead not knowing what that meant.
He trusted in His God to make His path right.
He spoke not his words but the Bible's words.
He was who you saw.
He hated seeing his own name in lights when it took so many people to make a meeting happen.
He wanted to be unseen so Christ could be seen.
He stood for the African American people in the middle of death threats to his family.
He had wise counsel around him at all times.
He loved his wife and cherished her until her death.
He struggled with God and the Word and accepted the word of God just as he had accepted Jesus, by faith.

Billy Graham was just a man called by His God to spread the word and to encourage people that there was hope in a dark time. He wasn't about himself, how good he looked on camera, or how important he was to be sought after by the Queen of England or all those presidents. He was about leading them into the light and giving them the Word, so that when he wasn't near, they had something to cling to.

Today we are searching for happiness. I see it everywhere. There are even counselors now that can help you find your happiness.  What happens when the truth is revealed? At some point, disappointment is going to come along and then those same people striving for happiness will get lost in the darkness. Why did David cling to the Word of the Lord so hard? Because he knew that life had peaks and valleys. He sat in caves, fought battles and still, he knew his hope and future were with and for the Lord.

I admire King David and Billy Graham for believing that they could make a change. I am in awe of the strength they both had to be with God and to do His bidding. They were both men and that makes them real. They both were challenged in this life but overcame much of the hate with love. They believed that the commands, precepts, promises and words of God were real and had major impact on those they led.

Both men were great shepherds leading many sheep to God. In Psalm 119, you can read over and over David seeking and loving God's words. Billy Graham believed that the hope of all the lost was in the Bible.  If you watch that documentary, you will hear him say over and over, "The Bible says.." Why? Because the holy word of God cannot be refuted. Man can stumble with words but the Holy Living Word of God won't stumble, has never fallen and lives so that we may find peace, prosperity, and eternal life.

I normally like to copy scripture here for you but today I'm directing you to the living word. Open your phones to the Bible app or get your Bible out and read Psalm 119.  Look for words, like commands, precepts, and words and meditate on what David was saying.  David and Billy loved God with their whole hearts. They wrestled just like us but ultimately, through his words and commands they found the one true God. That's my hope today. As you wrestle with being unseen, unworthy, and lost, you will find the one true God.

I have been there and continue to be there but my hope is in the living word for the Bible says that I am loved and I was chosen for such a day. It states that when I came to Christ I am a new creature. I've been washed white as snow by the blood of Jesus and I stand on the fact that if you confess that Jesus is Lord you too will be beside me eternally. For the Bible says,"Jesus answered, "Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to the spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying,
'You must be born again.' " (John 3: 5-7 NIV)

Finding Peace in the Journey...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

It's been some time since I've written and it feels good to be back. From time to time, I take time off this platform to reflect on God so it's been awhile.  I'm getting on today because I've had many revelations I wanted to share with you.

Over the last couple of years my journey has not exactly been what I had hoped for in my life. I've really had to find myself again with Jesus at the helm. I had my life paved with gold up until 2016 when much fell apart.  That life was driven by success, money and pride.  Fortunately for me, God decided it was time for a change.

In April of 2016, I had a choice to make, Jesus or money and in the end Jesus won out. I actually left my job with nothing else in sight and trusted the process. I have been providing a steady income for my family, health insurance and a comfortable lifestyle my whole life and with a blink, I gave it up. 

By May of 2016, God provided another opportunity that I loved and after a year, I was laid off with two weeks severance and nothing in sight. And then, in June of 2017, God opened a door into a new career.

From 2016 to now, I have taken pay cuts, lost roles and floundered to find me in the journey. With no hobbies or outside adventures, work was my joy and now it has become my cross. How can I say that? Well, work is where I found happiness, where I became worth something and where I found status and unlimited financial potential. It was where I could shine. Unfortunately, it's where I was falling into a pattern of sin.

I loved money, I loved position and I loved being the lead. So the challenge over the last 3 years is how do I remain peaceful in a journey that has turned my world upside down?  The answer, Jesus.
Jesus has changed me in a way I would never have thought. I wanted position and financial independence more than I wanted Him. It's true. I wanted a house and cars and money in the bank and then in 2016 I found myself realizing that money didn't buy happiness.

So, I've been in a storm. Really it feels like a tornado from time to time. My whole life has changed. I now just have a job, not a career. I work from 8-5 and I'm home every night. I don't have great wealth nor am I destitute. I have found time to read my Bible and send scripture to  my closest friends every morning. I can serve others and do it with an open heart. I've started that book I continue to feel unworthy to write and I've found me in the eye of the storm. Not the person everyone thinks they know but the person Jesus knows.

In the last couple of years, I am being transformed as if I was a blob of clay. I have been pinched, smashed and reformed carefully by my maker. He is refining me and opening me up to  free me from the sin and inner turmoil I carry. I've always been performance based. How high can I jump? Well, tell me I can't and I will push to jump higher. The problem with that philosophy is I can't do it alone. I have to have Jesus in the midst. I have to have Him walking beside me. I have to release my ideas, my wants and my desires and focus on the kingdom and on His will. I've been chasing success, money and accolades for so long, to now come to the end of me and find that His will must be at the center of what I do, how I think and how I move forward.

It's a journey my sisters. It has trials and tribulations. I want more than anything to help women all over the world, to encourage you not to give up on Jesus. I want you to walk with Him in your storm, pursue His words and believe that He alone knows your purpose. I am not over this trial by a long shot. I fight it every day but I've come to realize that my purpose is not what I believe but what His will is for me.

As I watch the world events unfold and see the children of Syria on the streets, my heart tells me there is much work for all of us. We must find peace in our own journey so we can concentrate on others. It won't be easy. It hasn't been easy for me. It has been life changing and I'm grateful for the journey because it's given me more time to look around me and to care about what our God cares about which is the lost, the destitute, the misfits and the hurting.

It's by His word life is revealed. The Bible is true. Look around you, there are rumors of war, earthquakes, death and destruction. There are children turning against their parents and parents killing their children. There is evil on this earth and yet, when we walk in peace, God provides a door for us to come in and get out of the storm. Be encouraged that today may hold trouble but God will provide hope in the midst of it.

Please look these Scriptures up today:

Matthew 4:4
Jeremiah 29:11
Proverbs 3:5
Daniel 6:10
Matthew 26

Our time is now. We are being refined so that we can trust in Him who has given us life. His will must be done on earth as it is in Heaven and we must stand still and find His peace in the journey. For it is not by bread alone but by every word of God. Stand with me today and may God bring the lost into His arms and provide peace in the midst of your trials. I'm praying for you my sisters and I know that there is power in prayer.

When will we repent...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

 (I wrote this blog days after the incident and have waited to share it until now. Since then I have  watched the march and heard the voices of our youth crying out. They believe they can impact change with their voices and so do I.)

Legislation will not save us but Jesus will. We must believe, repent and choose to have a voice. If you believe that this message is worthy please share. Hope has never been in man it has always been our Savior.

Post:

It's been days since the Valentine's shooting in Florida. Fourteen beautiful young girls and boys have died along with three brave and wonderful men that saved many.  I often don't post about politics or specific incidents as I am today. Many things in this world make my heart heavy like Syria, Iran, Iraq, and N. Korea. As I've prayed for the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His, I have seen famine, homelessness, war and children covered in blood for religious battles. Today, I'm speaking as a woman that loves children and that believes that Jesus Christ is the way and the truth, so please don't stop reading because this is too hard. Keep reading and believe that the God of Abraham can rectify our sins and lift our children up in a time of great spiritual warfare.

I am 52 and have lived with tornado drills and in elementary school, bomb drills. I also was in a middle school during the riots of the late 1970's.  I can remember everyone going into the the halls, dropping down on my knees and covering my head. I remember the silence from the students and the teachers saying if this should happen cover your head and everyone did because they knew that this drill was for a reason. Today, from the time our children are in a preschool environment they have undergone code red drills. Why? Because in 1999, two very tortured boys chose to kill students and then kill themselves. It was an isolated incident. I was in a Walmart parking lot picking up some things to go to an office for a pharmaceutical display. I can remember the fear, hurt and overwhelming feelings of dread that this was the first but not the last.

Since that day, we are seeing these yearly and now monthly. What's going on?  Evil that's what's happening. It's not about the guns, although I think we will need to find a resolution around that discussion. This is about good and evil. This is about us letting down the future generations.  We sit and watch in silence as men and women bury their children. We feel something for a moment but then the next big news story comes along and we are back to our lives. Life has moved on for us but it hasn't for the parents, grandparents, wives and students that have to live with this horrible tragedy for the rest of their lives.

You can't diagnose evil. It lurks in the hearts. You can't put a finger on why someone would go mad enough to shoot up a school , however, we an diagnose that there is evil  in the world and as we sit in our homes thinking it can't happen to us, IT CAN.

When children are posting #never again and #enough and telling us, they are just children but we're adults, they are so right. We have let them down. We have let the government decide what's best for our children. We've not spoken up. We've sat in the corner and asked someone else to do it. We've forgotten about Sandy Hook and so many others. We are responsible and I'm not talking about the shootings, I'm talking about us not standing up and shouting JESUS.

We must weep for those families that have undergone horrible tragedy. We must pray and petition our father to forgive this country. We must come up with ideas and innovations that can save children from guns and we must decide what it means to defend our country and ourselves.

We must carry the burdens of the thousands of students that now will choose a way. They may not be able to articulate what that day did to them. Many will fall into depression and find ways to ease the survivor pain they are now in. And we must stand in the gap for them. We must pray for this generation that hasn't gone to war but that goes to school every day with the fear that one day code red will be sounded and that day may be their last day.

We won't be able to fight it with gun control or figuring out why Nik did this. He's going to recount that he doesn't know or he heard a voice or even worse it was just a calling so deep.  He has a chance to find Jesus now but what about the hours he spent where evil had his heart. We have suicide, opioid addiction, and so much more in this generation. When will we stand and not be ostriches. It's time to take our heads out and say Lord we hear you and we will stand for the families and children of this generation.

If you've quit reading, I hope you revisit this post because I will. I don't want to forget that children said we aren't being responsible. I won't forget a young man doing interviews because he wasn't sure he would live and he wanted this moment to be remembered. It would be his legacy. If those words and actions don't impact you, then I'm praying for you too. I will pray for our schools, our children and our generation because we must start speaking the truth. How many more events will it take before we are outraged and want to get on our knees? God will help us but we must repent and ask Him to help our country and save our children and not just their lives but their souls.

If you feel like this is just a rant, I'm sorry. It's not. I feel the pain of the parents. I don't know what it's like to bury my child but the pain of loss has to be so great. I've lost loved ones suddenly and you didn't get to say good-bye. You didn't get to tell them you love them one more time. It's so hard and parents and wives are thinking back to that day and believe me they will remember that they fled to work or forgot to say I love you. They will remember that they ignored one another or the baby was crying and daddy had to go to work. Life went on and yet, for them, they will wonder why they didn't say stay home.

We can't protect ourselves and we weren't meant to. No amount of guns or weapons will keep us from this kind of evil destruction. However, God can make something out of bad situation. He promises He will make good of it. He can fight our battles spiritually and He can save our nation from more evil acts. It's time we stand up for what's right and talk about Jesus. We only have today just ask fourteen sets of parents and the loved ones of three brave men. They only had that day, that moment and then they were gone.

Please stand with me as I mourn with those that mourn. Please pray with me for a lost generation and for men, boys, girls and women that suffer from mental illness. Please don't turn away from repenting for our nation because I am going to. Time is of the essence and if you don't realize it look around. Whatever we are worried about needs to flee from us and in it's place we must seek the Kingdom of God. You chose my page on Facebook, you read this blog, please stand with  me for what matters. This is our time to pray and petition and to believe that many can be saved through this horrible tragedy. We must pray that children everywhere seek Jesus and not evil.

I proclaim today that Jesus is the only way to salvation. He knows their pain even when we don't. He seeks the hearts of men and women and cries because we don't turn to Him. This is the only way our children will be safe. It says in the Bible that in the end times there will be powerful acts and miracles, more powerful than when Jesus walked the earth. Let's call on Him to give us that power so that this generation has a chance to know the power of God. And more importantly, that this generation would see men and women taking a stand for them. They are right, we are the adults, let's not let them down again.

To be changed by Jesus is to know His heart...

Good morning my sister warriors-

The day has not dawned yet, the hour is early and the only sound I hear is the dog biting on a bone. And yet, I sit here and think about how many of you are getting over the flu or have lost someone significant to you.  I wonder about the people in other countries and how they're doing and I wonder about the men and women who sleep outside when I have a soft bed every night of my life.

These are the thoughts that go through my mind. It wasn't always like this. Most of the time I couldn't think straight when I woke up. The challenges of business, kids and marriage would be scattering through my mind and just over a year ago my mind would have only been on making money.

Things have changed. My relationship has gotten deeper with Jesus. I find that as I've asked Him for clarity and to see what breaks His heart, He has shown me. And now, I see the tragedy in this world or maybe it's the fragility of life that we all take for granted, either way, I see it and it humbles me.

Life is precious and we waste so much of it running after our dreams, building businesses that forget us the minute we step out the door and worry how we women worry. To overcompensate for what ails us, we find joy in getting a new car or a new house and over time both break down and need repair. Worry nor possessions are what this life is really about, that's the world talking.

God wants us to love people. He wants us to sit with them right where they are, even if it's in pornography, homelessness, drugs or  prison. He didn't come for people like me with a great house and money to buy food. He came for the destitute, the lonely and the lost. And every day I get closer to Him I know that my journey isn't about amassing things, security or money anymore. It's about investing in His people.

I'm not saying it's wrong to have a nice house or cars that work, it's not. What I am saying is that you  must put effort into what matters most to Jesus. He worked with his hands, he was a builder, he had a trade and for years he went to his job and provided for his family members. And then one day, his Father called and he left behind his stability and all He knew. You see there was a greater purpose so He listened to the will of His Father and walked among his people because he knew that what was most important was to fulfill His Father's will. So he went into danger, fostered twelve men from different walks of life and spent the rest of his time on earth healing the sick, comforting the lonely and forgiving those that trespassed against him. (BTW-that's all of us)

So as I close today, I want to remind you that you are loved by the almighty God. His hands are on you, and if you know Him by name, He lives inside of you. You can be destitute and He loves you. You can be sinning and He loves you. You can be denying Him and He's calling. God knows you by name and he continues to send his warriors out to find you and make Him known. I'm one of them. I love  you and if you reach out I will pray with you and I will help you find Him. Behind every saved Christian there is a story of redemption. We do not live perfect lives or live without flaws. We are just like you. When we found Him, we were lost just like you. Don't let the image of what a Christian should look like sway you into knowing Him. We all have closets and they are full of regret, shame and sin. He provided a way out so that what you see today is transformation and it never ends. I will be molded until I'm in the grave.

Just like the times of old, God is with us. Before Christ, the ark of the covenant went before the Israelites ALWAYS. God's presence was with them so that they would have courage to forge ahead. He knows your battles and where your heart aches. You may only have today and in today I would encourage you to love with all your heart, lead like a servant and ask the Lord to come into your heart, for He is the master planner.

A special note to those that know Him...

We are His warriors, women that are committed to the gospel. We must pray for those that can't pray, who have lost faith or have never had it. It is our time to come together and to make Him known to all nations. We don't know the hour, so let's take every minute and make something precious happen. Let's make Him known!

Are you with me?

John 14: 2-3 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14:1-14